Driving the Lebanese way: User Manual !!?

Question by Alan C: Driving the Lebanese way: User Manual !!?
Its survival of the fittest, at its finest! We could put our superior intellect and indomitable willpower to good use and demand safer roads and stricter law enforcement, but why do that when we can tame the F*****gbeast?
You wish to learn our ways? Then look no further. Behold the Rules to being a Lebanese Driver! Obey them well and die with honor!

1-You shall not engage in the use of flashers. Why would the driver behind you want to know where you’re going anyway? Stalkers
2-You shall respect red lights no more than you respect thy mother-in-law. Every clever person on the road knows that red lights are the principal cause of traffic jams. if a car in front of you is respecting them?..honk hon and then honk some more..how dare he follow the rules??
3-You shall adopt the fashion of the Lebanese driver. Put on those Pilot sunglasses, dangle your left arm from the adjacent window, slouch in your chair and pout like a goldfish. Ktir bi sir shaklak manyak.
4-You shall ignore the required age to commandeer a vehicle. Ana ballashet soo2 wa2ta ken 3omre tmene!
5-You shall express thy sentiments with loud, excessive honking. People will respect you for it.
6-You shall impose your war-chants on drivers in the vicinity. George Wassouf, Haifa and definitely techno/trance music are way better than whatever pussy-music you’re likely listening to.
7-You shall embrace the third lane while overtaking drivers. Bonus points if you manage to do it on a curve! While closing your eyes!
8-You shall multitask. What better time to put on your makeup/text/pick your nose/play video games on your cell phone/have an arguileh/change your kids diapers than while you’re driving at 100kmph on a highway?
9-You shall not confine your skills to speed limits. Breaking speed limits is fun and all, but think of all the other things you can break!
10-By all means double/triple park. Road?? what road??..people can always squeeze in their car to pass…if for some reason you cant doub;e/triple park…you can all ways
11-You shall drive in the opposite direction. One way road? HAA…its for wussies..i can drive it with no hands and my eyes closed.
12-Lanes? who needs to drive between them, the good driver can center the lane to the middle of the car the whole way to his destination…that is provided there are lanes…

13-No lanes?..who cares..you can still drive in zigzag style..”eh betwanta lal siyyara mreyet man while driving 160km”..you will totally be worshiped if u do that
14-Don’t where seat belts..it would show you got balls and not a wuss..chicks dig that
15-If the car in front is not giving you way to overtake..honk..still doesn’t move?overtake from the right..but make sure you get your window by his window and give him the stare (ja’rit il wazwaz)..he will piss in his pants and never do it again..if he was from the same gang? open up a conversation and invite him for a cig or ahweh..but make sure to block traffic and slow it down..we dont want people to think you are not cool enough
16-Traffic!! who doesnt hate traffic..make sure u cut in every chance you get, and if the wuss in the other car was not letting u through you honk your *** off..by no means u should follow the line..keep cutting in left and right u might save a 2-3mins..each min you save by the end of the month will give u bonus points.
17-Roads signs are just for show..by no means you should follow them, they just want to make the country up to international standard but you should not follow them..speed signs are not maximum speed, its the minimum speed..no limit for maximum speed
18-people driving below that minimum speed should be cursed and stared at as you over take them
19-if u see a girl driving a car.. make sure to give her a hunk and a stare and wazwaz pick up line like “shou ya helweh?”…use your imagination…chicks dig that
20-Make sure to drive behind ambulances…when u see an ambulance, its like a joker, u have to drive behind it, u would cut traffic and can drive with no speed limit…the longer the line of cars following the ambulance the more points u get
21-Lastly You shall ignore the pleading cries of those who love you. They keep begging you to calm down, but why the hell should you? Hah!
They don’t understand you. They don’t understand what you’re going through. Speeding is fun, and reckless driving helps you forget your failing grades and disappointments in life, even if only for a few minutes… Besides, it’s always better to let them do all the worrying instead of addressing that little voice in the back of your head that’s always there, no matter how loudly your music is playing or how intense the rush is, constantly reminding you that the life you’re always gambling could be lost at any second..And for what?

Mind You i am not only perfect..I am LEBANESE TOO..AND PROUD TO BE
We might joke a little about our lifestyles but the fact is this is a real problem that we should be fixing

Best answer:

Answer by Pinky
Yea its a real problem but LMAO@#3

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